Happy Birthday

My son is one year old today. He is intense, tenacious, affectionate and beautiful, and our journey has not been an easy one. From a planned home birth turned C-section, to a colicky infancy, to a breastfeeding struggle. Nothing was textbook with this boy. I have been so in love with him from day one, but I remember just feeling like I had totally lost my north star in motherhood. I felt like it was my job; to stop him from crying, to get him to breastfeed (and make it to a certain point), to fix, fix, fix. But, what my son has taught me is that it is not my job to fix or force. It is not my job to take away strong feelings, or to quiet outbursts. It’s just my job to be there. To be with him through these passing tides. To offer understanding and comfort and love. ‘

Like with everything else, sleep with my guy has been a bit of a roller coaster; but I always instinctually felt a pull with him; to carry him closer, rock him a little longer, go to him a little quicker. He’s had many great nights, has always napped more predictably than my daughter… but there have also been nights where I brought him into bed with me, and even then, had to comfort him for so long before he drifted to sleep. I have worn him and paced with him at 3am, and risen with him at 5:00 am; so many times. And it has been both brutal and beautiful. 

I am happy to say this one-year-old wonder, is now walking, practically running. He still has an intense personality; laughs easily…screams easily. Lights up the damn room. Lately, he’s also been keeping me up at night. What went from 5 minutes of rocking, has turned into 20,  Sometimes 40, minutes. What went from a quick wake up in the night, has turned into two hours at 3am, and for me, I know that it’s time to do something a little more organized in our approach to his sleep. I know that he’s ready to work on a little independence, and I’m ready to shed a little of my mom-guilt, and my need to fix everything, and get a good night’s rest. 

Motherhood is such a difficult journey, and on top of that, we beat ourselves up. Did we give in too quickly to a hospital transfer? Did we give up too quickly on triple feeding (if you know you know…)? Did we rock or hold them too long, and create a bad habit? Did we sleep-train too soon, and cause them stress? But I look at my son; the way he lights up when he sees me, his open mouthed kisses, the way he curls into me in a room of strangers; and I know that I’m doing it right. I know that this immense love that fills every part of me is at the core of everything; and I know he feels it too. 

Part of what I help families with is tuning into their instincts. Shedding the expectations of others, or the guilt of trying to be perfect, and really just focusing on what they need and what their family needs. Maybe you’re like me. You’ve held your baby so close, and you’ve loved every minute of it, but you've also struggled. You’re tired, and you’re second guessing yourself. You feel that your baby is ready for a change when it comes to sleep, but you’re not sure how to get them there in the right way. If you know in your bones that it’s time to make a change, a shift, to try something new; I’m here to help you, and I want to help you find an approach that feels right. 

I know you love your baby just as much as I love mine; and that’s how I know you’re an amazing mom (or dad). So here’s to the one-year-olds; to the trials and tribulations of that first fraught and magical year. Here’s to not doing it alone. 

If you need some support from someone who gets it, book your free discovery call today at https://calendly.com/slumberbunnies/discoverycall